But let me introduce you to the way I see this: as an opportunity to show love in any form you would like: towards yourself, your friends & fam, your pets, the environment, your life passion and of course your romantic partner(s) as well.

I decided to create a list of things, most of them free, to help you discover types of love normally not visible in the popular culture, so obsessed with the initial stage of infatuation.

• Call the family member that taught you how to love and tell them about it.

• Plan a date with your best friend – doesn’t have to be exactly on Valentine’s Day, but just so that you find time to talk to each other honestly and without time pressure.

• Use a sex toy and discover how it can bring you pleasure. If you don’t have one – buy one, you totally deserve it, and there are multiple price tiers – you’ll find something for yourself.

• Watch a movie that shows love normally not seen in popular culture (some of my favorites: Carol (2015) by Todd Haynes, Laurence Anyways (2012) by Xavier Dolan, Rafiki (2018) by Wanuri Kahiu, Gloria Bell (2018) by Sebastian Lelio).

• Create and send a funny Valentine card to your friend you haven’t seen in a while.
• Find a quote about love that speaks to you the most, write it down and put it somewhere around the house where you would see it often.

• Think of 5 reasons why you are a very lovable person.

• Read Everything I know about love by Dolly Alderton and discover the power of friendship type of love.

• Learn the world “love” in a new language.

• Read about a male penguin couple to become 1st same-sex foster parents in New York City Zoo.

• Wear sexy lingerie just for yourself – because you’re worth it.

• Learn why every successful relationship is successful for the exact same reasons.

• Watch ethically made, female and queer gaze porn and see how wonderfully it can embrace different sexualities (I can highly recommend Erika Lust’s XConfessions).

• Send a “Happy Valentine’s Day” message to someone you know would be happy to get one.

• Go for a walk and photograph all the graffiti connected with love you can find.

• Write a love letter to your body.

• Read On Connection by Kae Tempest

• Find a poem about love that you like.

• Cook or buy some food that would bring you comfort.

• Read All About Love by bell hooks.

• Think of a friend you lost touch with and try reconnecting with them.

• Start saving up for something you wanted to get but always thought it would be too extravagant or too vain to get.

• Try to make a new friend (I found Bumble Business or BFF very useful for that, and Instagram as well).

• Listen to the podcast Where Should we begin? with Esther Perel where various couples share honest conversations about their relationship.

• Think of an artwork that represents love to you and try to get it in print (buy a postcard, poster, or if not possible – print it yourself).

• Watch a wonderful full-length indie animation about love between a person and their pet – My Dog Tulip (2009) by Paul and Sandra Fierlinger

• Find the your favorite most cringy love song and Karaoke the sh*t out of it.

• Watch Shane & Hannah Burcaw hold a mirror up to a limited ableist idea of love.

• Watch a funny short stop-motion film Shivering Trunks about the beauty of our differences and love found in the way we complement each other.

• Read Dog Songs by Mary Oliver – poems and short prose exploring the human-canine relationship.

• Organize a clothing swap party – you’ll get rid of clothes you don’t need anymore, make friends and celebrate sustainability together.

• Read Anatomy of Love by Helen Fischer – a natural history of mating, marriage and why we stray from an anthropological perspective.

• Create a list of things you thought were necessary in a person for you to love them 10 years ago and compare it with what you think now.

• Find a way you can volunteer and/or donate to a cause you find important.

• Create a playlist for love making (with a partner or by yourself) – you can also listen to the one I created: Boudoir Love (see next to this text).

• Next time you see a trash on your way somewhere pick it up and throw it into a bin – show that you care for the environment.

• Watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011) by David Gelb, a documentary showing a true passion and love for what you’re doing in life.

• Call your grandparents (if you have them, if not – any older and wiser people you know) and ask them what do they think love is.

• Buy yourself flowers.

• Write an erotic story based on your fantasy.

• Watch your favorite love scene from an animated movie (for me probably the memorable kiss between the Lady and the Trump in the original animation).

• Write an erotic story based on your fantasy.

• Watch your favorite love scene from an animated movie (for me probably the memorable kiss between the Lady and the Trump in the original animation).

• Reach out to a creative person whose art inspires you and tell them about it – many times these artists have no idea that their work is impactful and be over the moon to learn they actually make your day.

• Do a workout of your choice and bathe in the endorphins that follow.

• Become a tourist in your own town – find a place you’ve never been, or never properly explored and walk around, maybe read about its history as well.

• Support a local business and tell them how much you appreciate them being around.

• Smile to people you pass on street and don’t get discouraged if they don’t smile back – in Berlin during winter it may come as a shock to them that someone is smiling.

• Read A Letter to My Dog Exploring the Human Condition by Andrea Gibson.