In her book “Rethinking sex” Christine Emba brings up these stories of sexual encounters:
Have you experienced any of these:
“1. Thinking that we should be having s•x, even when we don’t really desire it, because that’s the impression society gives us – and thus seeing ourselves as incomplete, abnormal, or fallen behind if we aren’t doing it, even when we’re nothing of the sort.
2. Having s•x we don’t really want for reasons that we don’t fully agree with far more often than we would like- but also thinking that’s just how it goes, and that it would be unreasonable to ask for more.
3. Feeling jaded and discouraged by the romantic landscape, its lack of trust, emotion, and commitment – but also feeling as though other options aren’t reachable or even realistic.
4. Experiencing too much of the kind of s•x that saps the spirit and makes us feel less human, not more – s•x that leaves us detached, disillusioned, or just dissatisfied.
5. Knowing that something in our s•x and dating culture is somehow off and wishing that things were different – even if we don’t know exactly why we feel this way or how to make the shift to something better.”