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Girl Moss

Girl Moss

Inspired by the quote from Daisy Alioto “The girl boss is dead, long live the girl moss (lying on the floor of the forest and being absorbed back to nature).”

I think there’s been enough praising for pushing it through, leaning in and striving to become the most “successful” person in business. Don’t get me wrong – you do you, I’m not trying to discourage anyone from pursuing their dreams. But… didn’t we all get too much caught up in understanding success in close relation to our professional life?

When I have a speech about my f•ckup at Berlin Boss Babes event in April, I thought about the moment when I realized I don’t need to have it all at once: I can have my day job, that pays my bills, and do Berlin Boudoir on the side to fulfill my passion. Separating them gives me freedom and control, unlike when I was trying to combine making money from my passion and I ended up on the verge of burnout

At the moment I’m in upstate New York – small town where seemingly nothing happens, no tourist attractions. The old me would feel weird experiencing so little stimulations from the outside world. The girl boss in me would feel like I’m wasting my time 2.5h drive away from the center of New York City. But I let the girl boss in – and she’s so happy to learn the slow rhythm of nature, notice things that disappear in the bustling reality of any city.

I was always a city girl, but now I’m easing into the realization that I’m a moss girl too. And that time to slow down and unwind is priceless. I feel that as humans we have so much to learn from nature, in the end – we’re a part of it, however hard we worked to shift the focus elsewhere.

How do you feel about the girl boss / girl moss statement? Share with me in comments

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On Friday June 24 2022 the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, the landmark ruling that established the constitutional right to abortion.

I’m reading a wonderful book by Silvia Federici Witches, Witch-Hunting, and Women. She writes: “the restriction of women’s sexuality to marriage and procreation, together with wifely unconditional obedience, was instituted in every country – regardless of its religious creed – as the pillar of social morality and political stability. And, indeed, of no crime were ‘witches’ as frequently accused as ‘lewd behavior’, generally associated with infanticide and inherent hostility to the reproduction of life.”

We’re going to fight, you can’t burn us all 🔥

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I‘m a bit more quiet lately, taking my time to enjoy the nature and wild creatures surrounding me in upstate New York, where I‘m visiting my boyfriend‘s family. It‘s a true cuteness overload: squirrels, chipmunks, bunnies, humming birds, fireflies and – top it up – baby deer with mom. We called it Jewel, to not be gender presumptuous. But today it turned out that there are actually two fawns, not one. And we saw both of them in our garden. Looking through the window at one of the fawns sucking mom‘s udders, it made me wonder how incredible this miracle of life is. How does the fawn know right after its born that mom can provide food?

Observing their daily routines of the mama deer leaving the fawn for the day to hide (as it‘s not big and strong enough to follow its mom, and to distract potential predators from where it‘s hiding), then reuniting in the evening to spend the night together. Seeing how mama deer is calm, yet alert, and sometimes seems a bit annoyed /impatient, and how the fawn is full of energy, running around just for the sake of it, curious and carefree. I think that we‘re all so close to each other – deer, humans, bunnies… They learned to live with us, accepted our weird ways. Now it‘s time for us to learn their ways. I‘m taking notes and watching carefully.

Jewel fawn
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For me pleasure is:

  • standing in the kitchen with a warm mug full of aromatic tea and looking through the window letting the time pass and my thoughts flow freely;
  • stroking my hand through long grass on a meadow;
  • smelling the skin scent of the person I love;
  • tasting the combination of tangy fresh fruits and velvety crème patisserie on a brittle buttery crust;
  • feeling the sunshine through my eyelids, binge watching period series/films;
  • dancing barefoot on our wooden living room floor;
  • walking fast down a busy city street with music in my headphones and feeling like I’m just in the intro to the movie about my life.
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There were some victories on the way that I haven’t predicted: Scotland making period products available for free, Spain thinking of introducing period leave, more and more people being aware of period poverty around the world and many great initiatives to fight it. And yet, as a great caption by @mycommalife reminded me: still image of menstrual blood is seen as shocking and shameful, even though we’re so used to seeing violence and blood spilled on the screen. I checked Unsplash and my photos are still the only ones that actually depict blood, don’t beat around the bush with pretty yet not entirely honest pictures of melting pop sickle or a tampon covered in red glitter. For better if for worse – periods don’t have glitter, just honest beauty of this force of life.

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Thank you Lucy @blue_onair Bridget @bridgetmoy_and Tam @bluewitch59 for sharing your beauty with us 🌸

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50 ways to celebrate all types of love on Valentine’s Day

50 ways to celebrate all types of love on Valentine’s Day

Originally sent out as a newsletter – if you would like to get such posts ahead of everyone else, please subscribe to my newsletter on the bottom of the page.

I know that Valentine’s Day can be cringy as f*ck!

But let me introduce you to the way I see this: as an opportunity to show love in any form you would like: towards yourself, your friends & fam, your pets, the environment, your life passion and of course your romantic partner(s) as well.

I decided to create a list of things, most of them free, to help you discover types of love normally not visible in the popular culture, so obsessed with the initial stage of infatuation.

In my family Valentine’s Day was always about all the kind of love you see around – an easy way in even if your family member was not particularly open about their emotions. It’s Valentine’s Day, so it’s an excuse to be cheesy and express all the love you feel.

As hackneyed as it may sound I believe that love is all we need. Just not restricted to a particular limited way of seeing it.

50 ways to celebrate all types of love

  • Call the family member that taught you how to love and tell them about it.

  • Plan a date with your best friend – doesn’t have to be exactly on Valentine’s Day, but just so that you find time to talk to each other honestly and without time pressure.

  • Use a sex toy and discover how it can bring you pleasure. If you don’t have one – buy one, you totally deserve it, and there are multiple price tiers – you’ll find something for yourself.

  • Watch a movie that shows love normally not seen in popular culture (some of my favorites: Carol (2015) by Todd Haynes, Laurence Anyways (2012) by Xavier Dolan, Rafiki (2018) by Wanuri Kahiu, Gloria Bell (2018) by Sebastian Lelio).

  • Create and send a funny Valentine card to your friend you haven’t seen in a while.
  • Find a quote about love that speaks to you the most, write it down and put it somewhere around the house where you would see it often.
  • Send a “Happy Valentine’s Day” message to someone you know would be happy to get one.

  • Go for a walk and photograph all the graffiti connected with love you can find.

  • Write a love letter to your body.

  • Read On Connection by Kae Tempest

  • Find a poem about love that you like.

  • Cook or buy some food that would bring you comfort.

  • Read All About Love by bell hooks.

  • Think of a friend you lost touch with and try reconnecting with them.

  • Start saving up for something you wanted to get but always thought it would be too extravagant or too vain to get.

Think of what made you happy as a kid and find time to do it again very soon (dancing, singing, drawing, playing a game etc.)

  • Read Dog Songs by Mary Oliver – poems and short prose exploring the human-canine relationship.

  • Organize a clothing swap party – you’ll get rid of clothes you don’t need anymore, make friends and celebrate sustainability together.

  • Read Anatomy of Love by Helen Fischer – a natural history of mating, marriage and why we stray from an anthropological perspective.

  • Create a list of things you thought were necessary in a person for you to love them 10 years ago and compare it with what you think now.

  • Find a way you can volunteer and/or donate to a cause you find important.

  • Create a playlist for love making (with a partner or by yourself) – you can also listen to the one I created: Boudoir Love (see next to this text).

  • Next time you see a trash on your way somewhere pick it up and throw it into a bin – show that you care for the environment.

  • Watch Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011) by David Gelb, a documentary showing a true passion and love for what you’re doing in life.

  • Call your grandparents (if you have them, if not – any older and wiser people you know) and ask them what do they think love is.

  • Buy yourself flowers.

  • Write an erotic story based on your fantasy.

  • Watch your favorite love scene from an animated movie (for me probably the memorable kiss between the Lady and the Trump in the original animation).

  • Write an erotic story based on your fantasy.

Stand naked in front of a mirror and look at yourself in a loving way, finding the things that make you special and beautiful.

  • Watch your favorite love scene from an animated movie (for me probably the memorable kiss between the Lady and the Trump in the original animation).

  • Reach out to a creative person whose art inspires you and tell them about it – many times these artists have no idea that their work is impactful and be over the moon to learn they actually make your day.

  • Do a workout of your choice and bathe in the endorphins that follow.

  • Become a tourist in your own town – find a place you’ve never been, or never properly explored and walk around, maybe read about its history as well.

  • Support a local business and tell them how much you appreciate them being around.

  • Smile to people you pass on street and don’t get discouraged if they don’t smile back – in Berlin during winter it may come as a shock to them that someone is smiling.

  • Read A Letter to My Dog Exploring the Human Condition by Andrea Gibson.

Think of all the people you love and they love you back and realize that you are surrounded by love.

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Revolution is a woman

Revolution is a woman

To all my sisters in Poland protesting against the ban on abortion, to all the sisters worldwide that see their rights being violated every day. To all women and non-binary people who feel discriminated – revolution has many faces, but I believe now it is a woman. Women’s rights are human rights. As much as the politicians and lawmakers can hide behind a slogan “I haven’t met any LGBTQ+ person, so I don’t know what you’re talking about” (as it happened in Poland, where queer people were called “ideology”), they can’t claim they’ve never met a woman in their life. That one fact unites us all – everyone person reading these words had a mother. So it’s the right time to finally recognize women as an important part of society! Without them there wouldn’t be anyone here talking.

I created this illustration as I wanted to show women of different ethnicities and body shapes, fighting together for their rights. I also noticed that a lot of posters supporting women’s rights had no clear evidence that any of the women illustrated are mothers. And as much as I agree that women’s rights should be respected no matter if you decide to have kids or not, I also want to remind everyone that the women protesting very often have kids and families. They’re not some “angry feminists wanting to defeat men”, they’re our mothers, daughters, sisters… Who are fed up with someone else deciding on their lives and their wombs. Revolution is a woman, so fuck off patriarchy, we’re going at you.

#slaypatriarchy #dziewuchydziewuchom #womensrightsarehumanrights #cantbelieveihavetoprotestthisshit

revolution is a woman

 

Download the poster in English: revolution_is_a_woman

(PL) Pobierz plakat po polsku: rewolucja_jest_kobieta_plakat

Styling for boudoir and portrait photography – what to wear and what to avoid

Styling for boudoir and portrait photography – what to wear and what to avoid

I will talk here mostly about boudoir photography, but majority of these tips you can also apply to any other type of portraits. Hope it help you get the best out of your photos!

1. Be natural = be yourself

 

The first thing that might come into your mind is: “I’m going to be photographed, I need to work on my look!” and that’s totally understandable, but also please don’t go overboard. Stay true to the way you are everyday, or otherwise you will end up looking not like yourself (unless that’s your goal). Many times boudoir photography is paired with a makeup and hair styling session, and as much as I get it, I like to do things differently. I want women to look naturally beautiful – and you can define what naturally means to you. You feel natural with mascara on? Great, go for it. You never wear any makeup? Why should you change that for the occasion of the photo shoot?

It’s important to me you remain your everyday self. Why? I believe only when you embrace the way you and your body looks without all the extras, you can be fully empowered and liberated. Because you will feel beautiful just the way you are.

I think that when you come to a photo shoot and get all the makeup, hairdo etc. you get transformed into a version of you that normally doesn’t look back at you from the mirror. It can be a wonderful experience, but it’s a form of performance – the moment you get back home and take a shower, you go back to being your everyday you, very different from the “glamour” styling. Looking back at the photos in that situation can, in my opinion, unfortunately make you even more self-conscious: “I looked pretty once for a brief moment and right now I’m back to my regular boring me”. And that’s so untrue! When I take photos of the way you naturally are, you can relate to that every f*ing day, you can replicate the feeling you got during the photo shoot very easily, because you were the stylist, the hairdresser and the makeup artist! And you know that there’s no need for the whole “theater” around your appearance to be beautiful.

I don’t want you to change only for the photo shoot, make you feel and look unlike yourself and only then say “now you’re ready for a portrait”. I want to show you that the way you are every day – you’re great, beautiful and there’s nothing that should change about it.

2. Colors

Generally you should stick with colors you feel good in, but if you got this bright red dress and never found the courage to wear it – now it’s the time to give it a chance. Also remember a few rules:

  • a color that’s much lighter than you complexion will always make you look more relaxed and  give you that glow. Fair skin tones – consider wearing white. Darker skin tones – white can be in too much contrast with your skin, so consider something neutral but still much lighter than your complexion, because…

 

  • nude color (=the same shade as your skin color) is usually not flattering – always opt for something lighter or darker, not the same shade as your skin.
  • warm, muted colors usually work well with portraits – think of curry yellow, brick, earthy shades, dusty pink, peach, muted teal etc.
  • strong cold colors don’t usually work – every color you wear is casting shade onto your skin/face, and you don’t want to end up with a strong green hue on your face; avoid: strong green, blue. Also avoid strong red if you have a pinkish complexion.

     

Hana sitting and drinking coffee

3. Don’t be a banner for someone else’s promotion

Avoid clothes with big logos, promotional texts or portraits of celebrities on them – you don’t want to be someone’s advertisement for free. The only person you should promote is yourself. Other texts – if meaningful to you – are obviously more than welcome.

Below Adi in a great example of a meaningful wording on a T-shirt, that’s great to use during a photo shoot. Adi brought it to the photo shoot and it prompted me to combine it with a playful pose.

4.Be comfortable

Steer clear of clothing that is too tight. You want to be able to move around and feel good. Since we’re talking about boudoir here – lingerie and all related items are welcome. Anything that makes you sexy but also comfortable: bras & panties, body, night gown, corset, stockings and dress, skirt, sexy sweater (especially oversized ones you can wear on naked body), jacket, shirt/T-shirt, high socks, shoes (not necessary – only if you have ones you really want to show off).

boudoir photography myths

5. If you want naked photos – plan in advance.

If you’re planning any naked photos, please wear a bra/panties that don’t leave marks on your body, or just no bra. The same with outer clothes – if they’re too tight, it will take quite a long time for the seams and creases marks to disappear from your skin.

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Inspired by the quote from Daisy Alioto “The girl boss is dead, long live the girl moss (lying on the floor of the forest and being absorbed back to nature).” I think there’s been enough praising for pushing it through, leaning in and striving to...